Keke Palmer thought she knew who she was. What it means to be a good person and what it takes to be a success. It all seemed so simple, until she realized the challenges she would have to face to prove to herself who she wanted to be. From feeling alienated to having to restart her career after ten years in to becoming a single mother just months after her son was born—everything she worked for in life that she felt granted her what she wanted now also reminded her that “life is going to life” and throw curveballs regardless of what you deserve. She found herself asking, Where do I find my power? How do I master myself?
In her own raw and intimate words, Keke talks about everything from her struggles with boundaries to unconditional love, forgiveness, and worthiness. “Don’t block your blessings and potential opportunities by allowing the voices of other people to influence your actions,” she says. “How you’re choosing to set yourself up for success is between you and the person looking back at you in the mirror.”
Throughout the book, Keke also poses readers with the questions needed to get them through their own challenging times by sharing personal stories and lessons she’s learned along the way. She gets candid about the tools she’s developed to take the reins, harness her vulnerability, and recognize ownership in the narrative of her life—which allowed her to turn personal power into major power.
In this exhilarating, deeply poignant, and often laugh-out-loud book, Lauren Keyana Palmer gets real about life, work, love, and belief. These pages will encourage readers to empower themselves with the truth, leverage their currency, and find the keys to master themselves and the art of alchemy. Keke writes, “You are not on anyone else’s timeline, only your own.”
The result is a tour de force.
They said, “Jack of all Trades, Master of None.”
She said, “No, I am the Master. Of Me.”
“Like, damn, y’all killed me. My career ain’t even over; how can I be underrated at thirty? I just got put in the big girl oven—like, let me cook!”
I’ve loved seeing Keke Palmer on my screen since she starred in Akeelah and The Bee, Jump In with Corbin Bleu, and again through True Jackson VP, and even through her role in The Barber Shop 2. Needless to say I’ve been tuned in to her career since the beginning and she’s one of those celebrities/stars that I’ve grown up with and seen them transition from childstar into navigating the tricky dynamics of adulthood stardom.
To be honest with you, I don’t read many memoirs very often unless I feel some type of connection to the celebrity or writer themselves and I’m glad I gave KeKe’s book a chance, because she’s definitely one of those artists.
Immediately from the start, I could tell this was written by KeKe Palmer and it has her natural charisma, funny wit, and some pretty good advice for blocking out all the noise and really focusing on following your life path or passions and fulfilling our dreams without getting caught up in the opinions, negativity, and “can’ts” we hear and see everyday.
Even though I’ve grown up watching Keke Palmer, that doesn't mean that I know the person behind the brand and this book was a great way to get a more personal insight on the level of dedication, work/life separation, discipline, and confidence it took to really create the fully embodied brand of Keke Palmer. One thing that's refreshing about the way Keke writes about her experiences with being a child star turned branded digital mogul is that she doesn’t hesitate to really be honest about the blood, sweat, tears, and literal health crises it took to get to the level of confidence she now stands in.
It’s easy to forget that celebrities are also real people with real struggles and insecurities and not just scripted characters for our amusement, and funnily enough, Keke mentions this herself!
Keke is extremely aware of the type of relationship she has with her fans/audience and the things that can come apart with how parasocial celebrity/fandom relationships can turn into. While she’s never been one to shy away from leaning into the joke and the “gag” of it all, Palmer writes about the way she’s able to have that type of relationship through a balancing act of separating her business life and personal life to create a level of personal privacy and keep Keke the brand and Lauren the person separate entities. She mentions how she’s always down to laugh along, but its one thing to be in on the joke and being the joke, which she writes was something she struggled with especially as the public eye loves to dissect celebrities private relationships, specifically surrounding her private relationship. She really drives home a personal point of mine that its always fine to laugh along, in on the joke, then to be laughed at where you’re the butt of the joke, in a way thats not funny, but can be more hurtful.
I’ll be honest she started losing me as a engaged reader when she had a few chapters around her faith, and religion, which while I respect other people’s right to believe in religion…I don’t subscribe to any myself so I skimmed a bit. Memoirs can sometimes be a bit tricky when things like that come into play, just not my particular tea tbh.
Outside of that, I was able to tune back in and really felt she had some good things to say in terms of putting in the work to strive towards your goals.
The main thing I really enjoyed throughout reading this memoir is just how authentic and sincere, Palmer comes across, which is one of the many reasons I fell in love with her on my TV screen since I was younger, shes just effortlessly effervescent! This book found me at a good time in my life, because I’m a bit more ready to receive the lessons, advice, and gems of wisdom that Keke drops throughout the books.
She tooks alot about honing in on your craft, and being a true master of yourself to really do the things that need to get done in the lived reality we’re forced to partake in (capitalism), and if you want to achieve your goals in this world you often do have to play the game and that means showing up, playing a role, and getting shit done. Often times I can get stuck in my current lived reality and the things I don’t have currently have access to that would help me get to where I want to be in life, and Keke gives a great reminder to not focus your energy and time on things you can’t change, but move confidently in your own power, enter spaces you feel might not be for you, and let them have it! Often times what stops alot of us from not achieving things is not even the actual barriers, but just the thought of the existence of those barriers which stops alot of people from even trying.
I really appreciated hearing a more seemingly earnest take on really putting in the work time and effort to achieve the things you want in life, and while my goals are a little bit different than Miss Keke “Keeps A Job” Palmer, I definitely want to take alot of the lessons and stories I gained through reading this book and apply them to my own life, because even if I don’t want to put in the work or fee like a cog in the capitalism wheel, that's sometime I will have to participate in to some capacity, and low-key I did need a reminder and re-lesson on how to be a engaged and intentional member of our capitalistic society in a way that doesn’t just drain me, but can benefit me in terms of helping me towards my overall goals or passions in life.
I’ll add some of my favorite quotes from her book below ↓
“if you stay in your own lane and get to yo moneyyyy; if you pray for your haters; if you pray for your family; if you pray over your dreams; if you are a leader; if you are a believer; if you, in the words of Beyoncé, can upgradeeee a mf baby. If you can or do any, or all, of these things, you are an asset! It’s not giving liability; it’s giving I’m the asset who got assets WITH the assets, okay? It’s giving wordplay; it’s giving double entendre. This one is for my entrepreneurial baddies who want to shake shit up.”
“You should think of your moments of darkness like exams. You go to school, learn some new things, and then take an exam based on what you’ve learned. And I don’t know about you, but exams can be really, really fucking hard for me. It doesn’t matter if I’m giving short written responses or filling in multiple-choice answers on a Scantron; being tested about what I should know always stimulates a kernel of self-doubt, even when I’m the smartest person in the class.”
“don’t be afraid to bring all your talents to the table, because the only thing too much is the limitations we place on ourselves.”
“Don’t block your blessings and potential opportunities by allowing the voices of other people to influence your actions. How you’re choosing to set yourself up for success is between you and the person looking back at you in the mirror.”
“Take a minute to consider these questions: What is your North Star? What are your core beliefs? Can you name three things that make you who you are? And once you identify those three things, what can assist you (personally, professionally, financially) in expanding in these areas?”
“That’s the epitome of mastering me. In my need to change, to survive, to be flexible, to find joy, to be stretched and pulled, I learned how to master myself in this world as a woman, a millennial, an entertainer, a Black American, a MOTHER, and so on and so on. And that doesn’t mean it’s finished, but now that I have the tools, no matter what changes come, I am equipped to deal with them. I can’t control the circumstances of life, none of us can, but if we can just control ourselves and shift ourselves and be—again—like water, we can always alchemize and make purpose out of pain. You know? We gotta be able to be flexible, ’cause it’s never gonna go our way. It don’t matter what you do. Life is about having fun and enjoying,“Mastering Me” means that you get to write your own story. A lot of times I don’t think our experiences and how we were raised allow us to believe that. My parents did what they did uprooting our lives and chasing dreams to show us we had that choice. No matter how it all turned out, on the most basic level, they wanted us to know we have options and ways to see the world. I want people to understand that the power is not in what is happening, but how we choose to see it. Circumstances are always a tough thing. They are! It’s terrible! I’ve had really tough years between the ages of twelve and seventeen, and then twenty-one and twenty-four, and then a really, really tough year between twenty-eight and twenty-nine.
“who we are is not fixed, life is a fluid performance. What happens when we dare to step outside the story society has written for us? What happens when we improv? Alchemy. As I continue to perform, this time it’s not through the lens of who people want me to be, but who I’m deciding to be. At the end of the day, aren’t we all putting on a performance? The gag, is who’s pulling your strings?”
“The person who couldn’t survive doesn’t exist; they can’t exist in you because you survived what they could not. So now here you are with these broken pieces … and you’re still shining. And you wish that person you were before could fully enjoy who they’ve become. But there is still this melancholia, this bittersweet taste that you can’t get out of your mouth. Because to enjoy it would mean remembering what you had to lose to get there, to shine brighter than any darkness you’ve been through.”
“There’s this misconception about darkness always being the worst and ugliest moments of your life. And I’m here to tell you something you probably don’t want to hear: the best things are brewing during your darkest hours. How you make it through the darkness will inform your purpose, and I encourage you to embrace it.”
“The bottom line is none of us know the truth! None of us have the answers, we all just have what we believe. So if I have what I believe, why not believe that there is good out there for me? Why not control my thoughts and form them into stories that give me the momentum to carry on? Some might call that delusional, but I call it freedom. And there is power in the freedom when you realize it’s your choice to keep moving or stand still. I don’t have all the answers, and it’s scary to think about the lights going out until you realize that once they’re out … it’s over. The curtains have closed and there’s no time for an encore. (I know, pretty dark, but I’m not sorry!) I don’t know if we get an encore in our performance of being human and having this experience, so if I only get one shot, I won’t miss my chance to blow because opportunity comes ONCE IN A LIFETIME! You better lose yourself! Or whatever Eminem said”
“Society loves to tell us what’s of value, but the true fear is not in taking the bait and believing you’re worthless; it’s actually in believing that you are worthy, important, and capable. This is why it’s crucial to separate your purpose from your right to be. Meaning, you deserve to exist and be yourself regardless of how or when you fulfill your purpose.”
“The freedom to say no is so big, but it really does take time and confidence to get there. It took a long time for me to get to this level of liberation. All I’m saying is, you never know what will happen if you speak up, or if you don’t. So don’t underestimate the power of your voice.”
“I was never afraid of my power. In all honesty, deep down, I’ve always liked everything about myself. The problem always resided in the way other people responded to me that made me feel a level of discomfort. My confidence, my voice, my unapologetic self can be perceived as a threat to those who are used to seeing people like me in a more subdued light. Just because I saw myself as confident and strong didn’t mean others would see me the same way—their perceptions were often filtered through their own biases and expectations.”
“You can’t fix people’s problems for them, so stop trying to fix shit! A job like that is too supreme for another human being to manage. A person’s change and accountability truly have to come from within. I’m speaking to you, and talking to me, too!”
3 (borderline 3.5 stars)/5
As always, if you see a typo, say a typo and let me know!
smiles,
fablouis
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Next Read →All In (The Naturals #3)
Three casinos. Three bodies. Three days.
After a string of brutal murders in Las Vegas, Cassie Hobbes and the Naturals are called in to investigate. But even with the team's unique profiling talents, these murders seem baffling: unlike many serial killers, this one uses different methods every time. All of the victims were killed in public, yet the killer does not show up on any tape. And each victim has a string of numbers tattooed on their wrist. Hidden in the numbers is a code—and the closer the Naturals come to unraveling the mystery, the more perilous the case becomes.
Meanwhile, Cassie is dealing with an equally dangerous and much more painful mystery. For the first time in years, there's been a break in her mother's case. As personal issues and tensions between the team mount, Cassie and the Naturals will be faced with impossible odds—and impossible choices.
Book 1 Review
The Naturals (The Naturals, #1)
Now this was a book that got me excited to partake in a series again! From start to finish the book immediately draws you in with its main character Cass and her prolific ability to profile people, sometimes with just a glance coupled with her non-nonsense personality and witty persona I was quickly pulled into her world and wanted to see how far she wo…
Book 2 Review
Killer Instinct (The Naturals, #2)
Before I dive deep into my thoughts and opinions on the second book, Killer Instinct, from The Natural series written by Jennifer Lynns Barnes; I recommend checking out my book of the first book here →